


Cut Ties Can Always Grow Back

by MariaAshby64



Series: Kingdom Hearts Needs More Hugs [7]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Family, Feels, Gen, Haircuts, Hugs, Oneshot, Reunions, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 09:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18496558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaAshby64/pseuds/MariaAshby64
Summary: Riku always used to hate having his hair cut.





	Cut Ties Can Always Grow Back

**Author's Note:**

> Just a foreword about the Te Reo Maori used in this fic: I'm not trying any cultural appropriation, and I don't mean to offend anyone by using the language.  
> I was just thinking of songs Riku's mother could sing and this one just popped into my head. In the end it worked rather beautifully with the themes I wanted to show.  
> So I hope you enjoy it.

 

The first time Riku got a haircut he was two years old. Hoshi had to practically strap him to a chair. He screamed and cried and wrestled with her the whole afternoon. By the time he was tired enough for her to safely tackle his hair with a pair of scissors she had sworn to commit herself to abstinence for the rest of her life. Twice.

She sighed, lying him down in his cot after he had finally fallen asleep, kissing him atop his little head. He slept so peacefully for someone who had been crying like it was the end of the world half an hour ago.

At least that was one thing she could be grateful for. He was a really good sleeper.

 

\---

 

By the time Riku was four Hoshi had figured out a trick to it. She’d tried everything to get Riku to let her cut his hair. Bribery, punishment, trickery, but nothing seemed to calm Riku down more than singing. He would relax, his breathing would slow and he’d stop struggling. He’d sit in Hoshi’s lap with a huff and a pout as she’d run a wet comb through his hair.

She sang to him as she worked, prompting him to sing along. It was a short tune that her own mother had sung with her. Back when she was young and scared of monsters under the bed.

“E toru ngā mea..” She hummed, taking the first few snips.

“E toru ngā mea…” Riku muttered, slouching in her lap.

“Ngā mea nui…” Another snip

“Ngā mea nui.”

“E kī ana…” Another lock of hair fluttered down.

“E kī ana.”

“Te Paipera…” Riku had begun to relax.

“Te Paipera.”

“Whakapono…” One last cut should do it…

“Whakapono.”

“Tūmanako…” There was a little bit on the side that needed evening up.

“Tūmanako.”

“Ko te mea nui…” Hoshi smiled at her handy work, brushing it to make sure everything was neat.

“Ko te mea nui…”

Hoshi hopped Riku off her lap and turned him to face her.

“Ko te aroha…”

Riku gave a small gap toothed grin.

“Ko te aroha.”

Hoshi smiled, running a hand through his freshly cut hair and kissing him on the forehead.

“Muuuum,” Riku groaned as he tried to pull away. “That’s gross.”

“I’m your mother.” Hoshi replied, “I’m allowed to kiss you.” She nudged him in the direction of the door. “Now, let’s go have fun with your friends.”

Riku didn’t need to go two steps before there was a knock at the front door.When Hoshi opened it she found herself greeted by a short head of spiky brown hair.

“Is Riku here?” The neighbour’s kid, Sora, bounced up and down on his little feet. That boy had impeccable timing. Hoshi smiled and stepped aside to let Riku through.

“Riku your hair changed!” Sora gaped. Riku put on one of those smug looking smirks he was beginning to learn from his father.

“That’s cause it’s magic.” Riku lied, clearing enjoying it when Sora’s eyes almost widened to twice their size.

“What? No way!” He turned to Hoshi, who was trying not to laugh. “Does he have magic hair?”

“Of course.” She winked, “Runs in the family.”

“I want magic hair.” Sora pouted.

“You’re not cool enough for magic hair.” Riku replied. Which earned him a sharp tap from Hoshi as Sora face dropped.

“Now, now Riku, play nice.” She chided him. “Apologise to Sora.”

“Sorry Sora…” Riku mumbled.

“S’okay.” Sora perked up. “Betcha I can beat you to the beach!” He hopped off the porch and started heading down the parth. “Then I’ll be cool enough for magic hair!”

“Yeah right!” Riku leapt after him.

Hoshi smiled and followed the boys down to the sand.

 

\---

 

By the time Riku was nine he had resigned to the fact that haircuts were an unpleasant necessity.  His mother’s singing had made it better though, but he was beginning to think it was uncool for kids to get haircuts from their parents anymore.

He contemplated on this as his mother trimmed his fringe. Contemplating with the full maturity that you’d expect any nine year old to have. So far he had come to the conclusion that if the kids in his class would laugh at him for getting his hair cut by his mum, then it was definitely uncool.

He spoke this thought to his mum. He spoke it in the full explanation that you would expect any nine year old to explain.

“Mum, I don’t want you to cut my hair anymore.”

His mother paused.

“And why’s that Riku?”

“Just cause.”

And to him those two words were enough. To his mother though, they were a problem.

“Now Riku…” Her tone was a familiar one, stern, chiding and ever so calm. “You know you have to get your hair cut for school, and so it doesn’t grow into your eyes.”

“But…” Riku mumbled. With all his wisdom at the age of nine, he couldn’t find a way to convince her about this one. “It’s stupid.”

“Stupid to have your hair cut?” His mother peered at him through his half cut fringe.

“No… it just… the other boys say it’s dumb to have your hair cut by your mum.” He didn’t look her in the eye. The tiles seemed a lot easier to face.

“Is that what they say?” there was a light clatter as his mother put down the scissors.

“Yeah,” Riku wringed his hands, “they say it’s stupid.”

“And they say that to you, at school?” Riku nodded, waiting for her to speak again. “Riku those kids are just being mean. You don’t need to listen to them-“

“But mum you don’t understand!” Riku blurted out, “They laugh at me. They call me names, and… and they sing really mean songs…”

Tears were clouding his vision. He wiped them away. Tears were dumb. Tears were stupid. Tears meant he was weak. No nine year old boy would cry.

“I’m a loser mum. And it’s because you’re the one who cuts my hair.”

His mother pulled him close, letting him bury his tears in her sweater.

“Hush Riku…” She hummed, “It’s okay. You’re not a loser.” She loosened her hug so she could look at him. “I don’t think you’re a loser.”

“Yeah cause your my mum.” Riku sniffed. “That doesn’t count.”

“And what about your father?” She tapped him on the nose, “Does he not count either?”

“Well yeah, he’s my dad, he has to say that.”

“And what about your friends?” His mother continued, “Sora and Kairi. I bet they would say you’re not a loser.”

“Well…” a crack of doubt was beginning to form in Riku’s logic.

“Plus, if I remember correctly, I heard Tidus thought your winning goal was pretty awesome.”

Riku blinked. “He did?”

“Yes, he said it while I was still talking to his mother.” Riku’s mum smiled at him. “You’re a good boy Riku. And you are loved, remember that.”

And for all his nine year old reasoning, Riku couldn’t disagree.

 

\---

 

Something about Riku had changed when he turned fourteen, Hoshi couldn’t quite explain it. It had started with small things; like keeping his bedroom door shut, despite her asking him not to. Staying out late after all his other friends had gone home. Whenever she asked how his day had been, or how was school, he’d reply with a curt “the usual.”

Hoshi didn’t even know what the usual was anymore. When she questioned Riku further he would scowl and close off from her.

“It was fine! Okay, mum?” He snapped.

“Riku I don’t like it when you speak in that tone.”

“Whatever,” he would mutter as he headed to his room.

“Riku!” but she’d be cut off by his slamming door. Then she’d be left alone, wondering where her little bright boy had gone.

 

It was hard not being able to cut his hair anymore. Hoshi still remembered when he had first insisted he could cut it himself. He’d come out of the bathroom with such an uneven job that Hoshi couldn’t help but laugh.

“Mum it’s not funny!” He whined, hiding the back of his head with his hands.

“Oh, I’m sorry Riku,” Hoshi stifled her giggling. “it’s just that you look a bit like Sora there.”

This turned his face even redder. “I don’t want to looks like Sora.” He muttered, “Sora’s hair is stupid...”

“Hey now,” Hoshi bent down do his level, something she realised she wouldn’t have to do for much longer. “You shouldn’t say that about your friends.” She placed a gentile hand on her son’s shoulders and guided him back to the bathroom. “Look, I’ll just tidy it up for you, so it’s not so choppy.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

He’d gotten much better at it since then.

 

\---

 

They’d gotten into a stupid fight really, Hoshi knew it.

It had started off when she had asked Riku to cut his hair before it got too long. Riku had argued that he still had a week of vacation left and wanted to grow it out more. There was something in his tone that she didn’t like. Something that she’d had enough of in these past few years. She snapped at him first. And Riku, being the son of his mother, snapped back.

Low blows were exchanged, voices became raised. Hoshi sealed the deal when she said Riku was behaving like an utter  monster. She wasn’t sure what led her to that conclusion, but that had been the last straw for Riku. He stormed out of the room, stormed out of the house even. He pulled open the front door to find a very surprised Kairi, about to knock, behind it.

“Oh, hi Riku.” Kairi blinked, taking in Riku’s expression then spotting Hoshi further down the hall. “Is something wrong? I can come back later-“

“Let’s just go,” Riku huffed stepping outside. Kairi looked back at Hoshi tentatively. Hoshi tried her best to put on a polite smile, but she wasn’t really feeling it.

Hesitantly Kairi shut the door, leaving Hoshi alone in the empty house.

 

Two days later the world ended. And when it reformed Riku was gone.

 

\---

 

It had been Riku’s birthday a few days ago, not that Riku could take the time to appreciate turning a year older. But Mickey had made an effort to mark the occasion, even if they had only really known each other for a couple months.

“Thanks Mickey.” Riku put effort into a small smile as he tucked the card away into one of the pockets of his cloak.

“Sorry I can’t really get you anything else.” The mouse rubbed the back of his head. They’re been trying to keep a low profile while they stalked out the location of the mysterious Organisation XIII.

“It’s the thought that counts.” Riku replied. Kairi had always made small trinkets for her friends’ birthdays. Sora always got him chocolate, and was always upset when Riku never shared some with him. And his mother would bake a huge double batch cake, and ice it, decorating it with strawberries. That had always been his favourite gift.

“Riku what’s wrong?”

“Huh?” Riku hadn’t even realised he was crying. He brought his fingers to cheeks to find them wet. “Sorry,” he wiped his eyes, wishing they would stop welling up, “I was just remembering... it’s nothing...”

“Hey,” Mickey reached up and placed a hand on his knee, (he couldn’t really reach any higher.) “If you want to go visit-“

“No it’s fine,” Riku considered how tense things at home had been before he left. “We have a mission to do anyway.” He sniffed, struggling to brush aside the hair that was still clinging to his wet face. Mickey noticed the action.

“Maybe you should cut it?” The mouse suggested. “Then it wouldn’t keep getting in the way while fighting.”

“Yeah,” Riku thought for a moment, “Maybe I should.”

 

That was what brought him to where he was now, standing in front of the bathroom mirror with a pair of scissors in hand. For a long time he just stared at himself, glad that today his reflection looked like him, and not the monster he was used to seeing.

He considered just holding all his hair in a fist and hacking the end off. No one would care if it was messy. He could always tidy it up later. So, with that intention in mind he gathered his hair in a ponytail and prepared to cut it, looking into the mirror to check he didn’t-

Ansem’s cold yellow eyes stared back at him.

Riku let out a cry and stumbled backwards. The scissors dropped to the floor with a loud clatter. The Ansem in the mirror also stepped back, as it did so the image shifted until Riku could see his own shaking form reflected. Raising his trembling hands to his face Riku felt for any sign that that he had changed to what he had seen in the mirror. But no, the curve of his nose, the slant of his cheeks, the fringe that drooped into his eyes, it was all his.

His fingers trailed back to his lips as he muffled a chocked sob. His eyes squeezed shut as he sank to the bathroom floor, legs tucked tight as he buried his head into his hands. It didn’t stop the voices that plagued him from getting in.

 _You’re a monster!_ His own self doubt leered at him. _An utter monster_

 

\--- 

 

Riku had been dreading this day. A part of him had always thought it would never come, that he’d stay out travelling the worlds forever.

But here he was, standing outside the gate to his house.

He had expected it to look different. But the house still stood with the same old porch and white walls. A bright blue door completed with a clouded stain glass centre greeted him. Nothing seemed out of place, nothing looked different.

He didn’t think it was fair, that he could change so much, but the house could still wear the same face.

Riku opened the gate and stepping into the garden. The closer he got to the front porch, the faster his heart would beat. He began thinking thoughts; doubts, more accurately put.  Fears that he was doing the wrong thing, that his parents had forgotten about him, or worse didn’t want him back.

His feet came to a heavy stand still on the welcome mat. Taking a big breath, Riku quietened the voices in his head. _Everything is going to be okay_ , he told himself.

Then the front door opened and his mind went blank.

His mother was on the other side, holding her purse open, most likely checking for her keys. She looked up when she noticed she was about to walk into someone. He watched her expression change from the surprise of finding someone on her doorstep. , the slight frown as she studied the face of the newcomer, then the dawning realisation of who was standing in front of her.

The purse slipped from her hands. She gaped at him, unable to make a sound. Riku found himself in a similar position, frozen to the spot, trapped in his mothers gaze. Both of them caught in a bubble that wouldn’t burst.

Blinking himself out of it, Riku swallowed deeply, hating how his throat clogged up. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about what he might say upon his return, but in the moment all he could do was choke out one small word.

“M... mum?”

That seemed to get a reaction from her. She raise a hand to her lips in a silent gasp the other she reached out tentatively. Riku almost backed off but he couldn’t bear to make himself move. She was gentile, brushing his fringe lightly to the side while she took in his face. She was shorter now, or maybe he was just taller, maybe both.

His mother started to tear up as she cupped the side of his face, thumb brushing his cheek like she always used to do.

“Riku?”

Just the sound of his name, that recognition...

“Yeah,” His voice cracked, his vision blurred, he could feel the hot tears running down his cheeks, “It’s me.”

Before he could take another breath his mother pulled him into a hug, burying her face into his shoulder. And Riku held her as he sobbed into her hair, the tears dripping off his chin.  They held onto each other as though the universe was pulling them apart, but it wasn’t anymore, it was never going to do that again.

“I’m sorry mum.” Riku hiccupped, “I’m so sorry I left.” His mother loosened one arm around him so she could reach up to smooth his hair, cradling his head.

“It’s okay Riku,’ his mother pulled away just enough to look at his face again. “I’m sorry. I love you Riku. I never stopped,” He voice began to crack again, “Even when we fought I still loved... I still love...” She choked up, Riku pulled her into another embrace.

“I love you mum.” Riku croaked. Then he considered how long it had been since he last said that to her. He said it again. “I love you.” And again and again. For all the days he had been away and for all the years he had stopped saying it to her before he left.

“I love you.”

At some point they had ended up kneeling on the porch, Riku wasn’t sure whose legs gave in first. Whatever had prompted his mother to leave the house in the first place didn’t seem to matter anymore. In fact not much else seemed to matter at all, Riku was just glad to be home.

 

\---

 

“Mum?” Hoshi turned to find her son standing rather sheepishly in the kitchen doorway.

“Yes?” She set down the morning paper next to her morning coffee. Riku stepped into the room, a pair of scissors in hand.

“So you know that trip Sora and I are going on?” He began. The mention of the trip sent a twinge of doubt running down Hoshi’s spine. It wasn’t like she wasn’t proud to hear that her son had helped save countless worlds, but sometimes she did get nervous about him leaving again so soon.

“Yes,” She sat up in her chair, “Have you packed everything you need.”

“Yes mum,” Riku rolled his eyes.

“Spare clothes?”

“Yes.”

“Raincoat?”

“I don’t think it rains there.”

“Spare underwear?”

“Mum!”

“I can’t let my son take his keysword exam wearing four day old underwear.” Hoshi did her best serious face, despite smile she was holding back

“It’s key _blade_ ,” Riku corrected her. “And yes I have more than plenty enough underwear thanks to your insistence.” His gaze dropped to the kitchen tiles. “I actually had something else to ask about.”

“I’m listening.” Hoshi assured him, her joking now done.

Riku held out the pair of scissors out to her, palm up.

“Could... Would you please be able to cut my hair for me?”

 

\---

 

Usually haircuts made Riku anxious, nervous, and angry. Now that he was older, and had the full wisdom that you would expect a sixteen year old to have, he figured it may have come down to being forced to change something about himself he didn’t want to change.

But now this was a part of him he did want to change. Riku didn’t want to hide from it anymore. He was done with hiding in shadows, too afraid to make face. He was a much different person from the kid who left the islands all that time ago. He had walked the path to dawn and now he wanted to step into the light.

As his mother snipped away at his hair behind him, she began to hum. She had always sung when she cut his hair, it had always calmed down. As her voice hummed through the room Riku suddenly recognised the tune, out of habit he joined in, echoing his mother’s voice.

“E toru ngā mea” (There are three things)

“Ngā mea nui.” (Very important things)

“E kī ana,” (As stated in,)

“Te Paipera.” (The Bible)

“Whakapono…” (Faith)

“Tūmanako…” (Hope)

“Ko te mea nui…” (And the greatest thing...)

 

Riku looked over his new haircut in the mirror. He smiled, turning back to his mother.  He thanked her, giving her a quick hug. She held him for a moment before kissing the top of his head and letting him go.

 

Ko te aroha.

(love)

**Author's Note:**

> "Write a fic about your headcannon" she said.  
> "It'll only take 3-4 scenes" she said.  
> "It'll be short and sweet" she said  
> "It's not like it'g going to be your second longest fic in the series."  
> ...  
> Well, this turned out longer than I expected. I don't really regret it though. It was fun writing Riku at different ages. 
> 
> The song used is called E Toru Nga Mea for those who want to look up the tune.
> 
>  
> 
> Feel free to leave a request or comment!


End file.
